Our 43rd spotlight in the FACES OF HOPE: WE DO RECOVER series will focus on Brandon Porter’s story, My Past, My Regret, His Future, His Hope.
I have experienced a lot of loss in my lifetime. The loss of my father in my early childhood, my sister, niece and my step father, as well as the recent loss of a nephew, left me feeling lost and displaced many times. I have dealt with a lot of emotional pain, as well as
depression and anxiety. I didn’t know how to handle myself. I didn’t know or even understand how to deal with what was going on in my life. I always compared myself and what was going on in my life to a rollercoaster.
Although I had a lot to deal with growing up, I can say that I lived a good life. I had a good family and a good mother who did her best to raise me and my sisters. I was raised in church and knew who God was and knew exactly of what he could do. My problems with addiction didn’t start until my late 20’s.
I was an honest and true worker who lived a normal life. I was married to a wonderful, beautiful woman who I had 3 beautiful children with. I worked hard in the coal mines to provide my family with everything they needed. I did my very best to be very successful in life, but God had other plans for me. Around March 2013, I was injured and off from work. I had multiple operations on my hand and wrist that introduced me to Percocet.
After being on prescription pain killers for a few months one thing lead to the next and this is where my life became unmanageable, miserable and very discontent. I had already put my wife and kids through so much in life, so much emotional pain. It took a lot of pain, emotionally and physically, and even divorce and separation from my wife and kids, before I came to the realization that my life was unmanageable and that I needed help with my life and my problem with addiction. I didn’t even know how or what to do or who to even turn to for help. All I knew at this point was that if I didn’t get help now and fast I was going to end up dead.
Somehow I came in contact with Matt Brown, explaining my situation and asking for some guidance and direction. It’s crazy how God places the right people in our paths at the very right time. On July 2, 2016, I was on my way to Belle Grove Springs. I was an emotional wreck. I felt as if I had been beaten with a baseball bat from the devil himself, and even dragged through hell and back, but I was ready to start something new in my life. I wanted what I saw in other people who were in recovery and who was making the right choices in life. I wanted to be happy again without having to use a pill to help me. I am eternally thankful today for Belle Grove Springs and all the staff that showed me that there was a better life, and that there was Hope in my future.
Even though I have relapsed as part of my story, it does not mean that I can’t continue to make the right decisions and continue to pick myself up daily and continue to do the next right thing, and continue to live a happy and healthy sober life. It took an overdose to heroin and returning back to Belle Grove Springs for me to realize that I cannot do this on my own, and that I had to fully surrender my life over to God and let him have full control of my life. I had to trust in him and let his will be done.
I can say today I am a different person. I think differently, and I act differently. I had to let God completely into my heart and soul in order for me to do a total transformation of my life, because I knew that if I wanted to live a happy and sober life I had to completely change the way I thought about things. I had to let God help me reprogram from the way I thought, and even how I acted from negative to making all things positive. I had to be willing and completely open minded to the suggestions from others in recovery in order for my life to change. I can honestly say that I am very happy with my life today. There are things happening in my life today that I thought were nearly impossible, but God takes the impossible and makes them possible. So with God in my life today, I have regained a great relationship with my kids and my family, a good job, happiness and peace. All made possible because I gave my all to God and trusted in him.
God has poured out his blessings on me and he continues to do so daily. I am very thankful that I am able to share my story with others, especially to those who are in recovery and those who still suffer. I pray every day for God to lead me and guide me the way he wants me to go, for him to give me the strength and courage to carry on in sobriety, and to be able to carry the message to others.
If God can transform me from what I use to be to what I am today, he can definitely transform anyone. You just have to let go and let God. I am also grateful that God has placed in my life, selfless Godly men who have helped me along my journey in recovery and showed me that it was possible to overcome the struggles of my life and my addiction.
Describe your AHA moment
My AHA moment came to me while laying in an ER room after my overdose. I can remember the feelings of hopelessness and a lot of guilt and shame. I knew God did not want me to live the life that I had been living, and I knew I was created to be so much more that what I was feeling at that time.
Describe the feelings and emotions while in active addiction
I can remember always being very angry and miserable with my life. I always felt as if I was worth nothing and that all I was a lowlife piece of crap who didn’t even deserve to be living on this earth.
What is the driving force that keeps you going when times get tough?
Whenever I feel down and out I know I have good friends who I can turn to for support. I am reminded daily of my old life through seeing people out on the street and seeing how miserable of a life they are living. I have so much positive in my life today, I don’t want my old life back its dead and gone. I have been born again through Jesus Christ with a new life.
What obstacles or roadblocks have you encountered along your recovery journey?
The recent loss of my nephew Kenneth Ray left me feeling as if things were going to fall apart at any moment. I felt the depression and guilt coming back very strong while trying to process the loss, but I knew I couldn’t give up I had to give it up to God.
What is something you want people who have never struggled with addiction to know?
Something I want people who have never struggled with addiction to know is to not hate the addict instead hate the addiction. Luke 6:27-36: But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who curse you, Pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
What advice do you have for the family members of a person in active addiction?
If you have someone struggling with addiction, please make the call to Addiction Recovery Care. People who truly care and who want to help they know exactly what we go through.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please call Addiction Recovery Care at 606.638.0938 or visit them on the web at www.arccenters.com.
There is hope. There is help.