Our sixth spotlight in the FACES OF HOPE: WE DO RECOVER series will focus on Sara Young’s story, 1,000 Chances.
I had the most wonderful childhood, I was raised to have morals and show respect. My family is large on both my mother and father’s side. I have always been surrounded by a caring family. When I lost my mother at the young age of 15, I became a very broken, lost teenage girl trying to find her place in this big world. I began distancing myself from anyone or anything that was positive in my life. I began drinking and smoking weed at the age of 17. That quickly evolved into pain and nerve medication. I found myself looking for purpose and acceptance in the darkest and loneliest of places. At the age of 19, I found those medications very easy to get from a physician who was giving them out like candy. At this point I already had involvement with the court system and little did I know that was only the beginning of how strong addiction had its arms wrapped around my life.
I began using Oxycodone and injecting it with a needle. I quickly became a better liar, thief and manipulator in order to get the money I needed to keep me feeling normal. I didn’t care who I hurt or how uninvolved with life I was. My one care was escaping reality all together. I found myself not wanting to live to see the light of the next day. I was okay with the fact that I had chosen this life and I would always be a failure to everyone around me. Although I watched addiction take many of my close friends and family, I still accepted I was going to be next. Obviously I could write a book and tell the gruesome details of things I have seen play out in those moments in my life. But the choices I made throughout my addiction plays out vividly in the lineup of mug shots you can see listed under my name.
I have had 1,000 undeserved chances to pick up the pieces of my life and many times I chose not to. Today, by God’s unending grace and mercy, I am able to slowly place those pieces back together. Today, I choose to pick up my cross daily and not accept anything less than what he has in store for my life. Jesus has moved mountains in my life and placed me on a beautiful mountain to share Hope and Love to other broken women. I am a Peer Support Specialist for Addiction Recovery Care in a women’s residential treatment center called Karen’s Place. Each day is a new adventure and I am now able to see each day for its true worth! Many of those I love do not get that chance to share their story. But thank you Jesus that each day I get to share a piece of mine, in hopes that my story is the key that can unlock someone else’s prison.
My Aha moment…
Nearly 5 years ago I found myself standing in front of a judge once again in shackles, facing possibly 20 years in prison. I went to jail on June 8, 2012. One evening I attended a church service where a lady gave her testimony of how God moved in her life and how her chains of addiction didn’t have power over her any longer. That night in the cell I chose to lay my life and addiction at Jesus’s feet. I knew I had to change something and at that moment I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I knew I was set still for a reason!
Describe your feelings in active addiction?
Unworthy, lonely, scared, hopeless, broken, fearful, hurt and angry. Then at times I feel like I used because when I was high I felt the opposite of all these. In active addiction I remember feeling consumed with chaos and confusion. I never really knew how to feel emotions.
What is the driving force that keeps you going when times get tough?
My driving force is knowing my personal Savior Jesus Christ is there to carry me through when time’s get to tough. Also, my family is a driving force! I know I am not any good to my step children, my niece and my nephews when I am behind bars. Being that person they can always count on when she promises she will be there. When times get tough, it works for me to remind myself that I am one choice away from being stuck back in the darkness addiction held over my life.
What advice do you have for the addict that is still struggling?
Please do not believe you don’t have chances left, and do not feel like there is no hope because you have made too many wrong decisions. Know this life is worth living every second of it! It is possible to mend all those pieces of your life back together! With a little effort and courage, you can take the next step in the right direction. This scripture helped me a lot when I was trying to face the fact I could accomplish things without using.
1 Corinthians 10:13: “There hath no temptation taken you but such as man can bear, but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with temptation make also the way of escape, that ye may be able to endure it”.
What advice do you have for family members of a person in active addiction?
I think it is important to just love them, and I know at times that is easier said than done. Sometimes we can love too much and in turn we can enable this person. Because of this, it is so important to develop healthy boundaries. I feel being honest with how you feel and letting them know there are consequences for their actions. When we are consumed in our addiction we do not see things logically. Let them know there are people willing to reach out a hand and help them if they are willing.
Closing thought…
What hurts you most is what you’ve been called to heal. What angers you most is what you’ve been called to change.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please call Addiction Recovery Care at 606.638.0938 or visit them on the web at www.arccenters.com.
There is hope. There is help.
